Finding strength

23 Jun

20130622-215547.jpgMB, Reagan (Rosalie’s BFF), & Rosalie


The last two weeks were HARD and I am happy to put them behind me. So many times I hear, “you are so strong,” “your faith is so strong,” “your faith in God through all of this is so inspiring,” “you are such an inspiration.”

The past few weeks, specifically the past two weeks, I have been WEAK, my faith has been weak, my faith in God has been weak, and my actions have been far from inspirational. I’ve cried a lot & I’ve been pretty discouraged by a lot of things.

I’ve been pushed to my breaking point and instead of bending further, I’ve given in. I have been truly tested.

One day this past week, maybe Monday, Will came home and we decided to get Chick-fil-a for dinner. (Cooking is the last thing on my to do list unfortunately and the Market Salad at Chick-fil-a is the BOMB!) I ran out of the house, excited to have even 10 min to myself after listening to a screaming 2 year old pirate all day (I love her, but it’s the truth) but then I literally cried like a baby the entire way to & from Chick-fil-a. I think I almost hit a neighbor walking her dog because it got that bad.

It just hit me…I have a child with Down syndrome. How is this possible?? This is absolutely crazy! My child is going to be perceived as “different” from other kids her age. She very well may be picked on or left out. She may be judged because of a diagnosis. SHE IS STILL A HUMAN BEING!!!! She is not a diagnosis!!!

I started comparing her to other 5 month olds. Stupid idea. Now I know better because A. Her muscle tone may be a little lower & B. It’s not fair to her to see her as a 5 month old when she should really only be 3.5 months. For 3.5 months, she is doing great! I was so depressed about all of this until someone reminded me of that. And Rosalie is not going to meet all of her milestones at the same time as other kids her age. That’s something I need to accept, and I know I have & I’m fine, I was just having a moment of weakness.

Another reason I’ve had such a rough couple of weeks is because my mom has been gone. She is my best friend and my rock. (Other than Will, of course!) When I took Rosalie to Savannah the week before last, I went alone. That was a lot of work, physically & emotionally. Normally Will comes with me, but he had just missed two weeks of work for school and my mom was not able to keep MB overnight, so Will stayed behind. We just felt like that would be best for MB. Then last week, while my mom was still gone, MB got pink eye. So NO ONE was able to come over to help at all.

There’s so much more, I could go on & on but I already sound like such a Debbie Downer, so I’ll stop.

Really, when I think about it, just when I think I can’t handle any more, one of my best friends -and even sometimes someone I’ve never actually met!- will show up on my doorstep with exactly what I need. It’s a total God thing. He is in control. He is giving me strength through the loving kindness of friends. I am beyond thankful that He knows just what we need.
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Can I tell you some of the wonderful things friends have done for us? One night last week a friend brought us dinner out of the blue. This isn’t the first time this has happened and I cannot tell you how helpful it is. If you know someone who has just had a baby or has a loved one in the hospital, take food to their house! Don’t even ask, just do it! A couple of weeks ago, when Will was out of town and things just weren’t going so well, a sweet girl that I know but have never really met, brought us dinner, dessert, a generous gift card, and a very sweet message written inside a note card. While Rosalie & I were in Savannah, a dear old friend who I cheered with in middle & high school & was in Phi Mu with brought Will & Mary Beth dinner. Another sweet friend brought me lunch. MB got the sweetest get well card in the mail from two girls & their mom who we attend worship with. Another dear sweet friend, I call her my sister, was packing up her house to move & also packing for a mission trip to Central America that they left for last week, but she dropped everything to come keep Rosalie while I took MB (aka Captain Pink Eye) to the doctor. I won’t even begin to talk about how much my neighbors and my other sweet friend & her daughters have helped. You all are the ones who are inspirational!!

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And last night, Will & I finally got to go to dinner together ALONE for the first time in FOREVER. Of course we went to our very favorite spot, Steel Magnolias. The owner is an amazingly talented chef and one of my oldest friends. : ) It was so so good, just like every time we eat there! I planned to get dessert, but got it to go instead because my mom called and she was having issues with the girls so we needed to go. Anyway, we asked for our check and our server told us that someone had taken care of it. Two of our sweet sweet friends who we LOVE & care for so much had paid for our meal. That was SO generous and kind. Thank y’all so much. Now it’s our turn!!

And on top off all this, I have so many incredible friends I know I can call on, day or night. We are so incredibly blessed.

Rosalie got evaluated for physical therapy this last week. She is 5 months old, but they go by her adjusted age, 3 months & 2 weeks. So for 3.5 months, she is doing pretty well! Babies Can’t Wait will start coming only once a month but my sweet friend Amanda who is a pt will work with her once a week. She will also start speech therapy but I will know more about that after I meet with her BCW case worker Monday.

And of course, if you read my last update, you know she has C. diff again. : (

I am going to wrap it up but I want to ask for a special prayer request. There is a family I know of who is expecting a precious little girl in the next couple of months. She has been diagnosed with Trisomy 18. Please pray for this sweet baby, her parents & family, & all the doctors looking after them.

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