A new perspective

22 May

I went to pick up a copy of Rosalie’s medical record at the hospital the other day. Sitting at a red light on the way home, I decided to open the envelope that was holding that thick stack of lab results, dictation notes, and radiology reports. And there it was:

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It jumped out at me & it was like a slap in the face. The light turned green & I just started to cry. It was printed on the paper so plainly. 1:53 PM. It looked so insignificant. It was Rosalie’s “admission time,” the time she was born. To them, it was just 1:53 on a random Monday afternoon in January. But to me, it was the very moment our entire lives changed. Our world was completely rocked. Seeing it in print was just another reminder that we were different now.

I can’t speak for Will, I will only speak for myself here, but I have been completely changed by this & I think it has just completely dawned on me. At 1:53 PM that day, the old Christina was gone. My attitude is different, my priorities are different, the way I look at the world is different. I don’t even see my closest friends & family the way I used to. I now see them in a new light.

I have been completely humbled by this entire experience. The amount of generosity shown by friends, family, & complete strangers has been unbelievable. It makes me cry to think about all the prayers and love shown to us over the last four months. All because of Rosalie.

Not only has it been humbling, but it is like I have finally discovered who I am. I used to be so concerned about what others thought of me. My appearance, my grammar & punctuation (that sounds ridiculous, but as a writer & in my former profession, that is something I used to really care about!), the things I do and say. I used to be concerned about every little move I made & how it would be perceived by those around me. But I don’t care anymore. That’s no way to live. As hard as I may try, I can’t control what other people think and what others think of me is none of my business anyway.

Not to say I am just letting myself go, I am not. And I do care to a point. But I have way more important things to worry about & to focus on, rather than getting caught up in unnecessary drama and stressing out over what others think & feel.

We are on the way to Savannah for Rosalie’s follow up appointment with Dr. Rittmeyer. She has been doing a little better diaper-wise but the poor thing has the worst episodes of cramping & it is so pitiful.

Traveling to and from Savannah has set us back in terms of speech & physical therapy. But until then, I am lucky to have close friends who are physical therapists & a sister-in-law who is a speech therapist. They have given us excellent little ideas & exercises to do.

Rosalie has started reaching out & batting at toys:

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And we are working on training that sweet little tongue:

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And she has been holding her head up more!

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She loves to play with the toys in her bouncy seat too:

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Before we know it, Rosalie will be running around with Collins!

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I can’t tell you how much I love this sweet face:

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6 Responses to “A new perspective”

  1. Jenn Gunn May 22, 2013 at 5:29 pm #

    Christina, I hope you know that we all think Rosalie is beautiful and perfect exactly the way she is. She is who God intended her to be. And you lucked out by getting to be her Mommy ๐Ÿ™‚ Praying for you, Will, Mary Beth, and as always, sweet Rosalie.

    • sogamom May 22, 2013 at 5:31 pm #

      I think the same! I really don’t know how I got so lucky! She is awesome! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for the prayers!

  2. Connie Coffey Sumner May 22, 2013 at 7:56 pm #

    How beautiful! Yes, you are the lucky one to be her mom!

  3. meredith0929 May 24, 2013 at 11:24 am #

    “Occupation: Infant” – Looks like she’s good at her job!

    • sogamom May 24, 2013 at 11:37 am #

      Ha! It really should say “BOSS” because she runs our house! ๐Ÿ™‚

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